Monday, August 21, 2006


Does romance truly exist in real life, or is it all a big fake?

My husband used to tell me I had high expectations out of romance and life because I read too many romance novels. If you haven’t guessed, my husband is not what most people would label romantic. But what is romantic? Everyone has their own label. Even romance novels don’t have “romance” per se. .

Merriam-Webster defines romance as:
1 a (1) : a medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure, or the supernatural (2) : a prose narrative treating imaginary characters involved in events remote in time or place and usually heroic, adventurous, or mysterious (3) : a love story especially in the form of a novel b : a class of such literature2 : something (as an extravagant story or account) that lacks basis in fact3 : an emotional attraction or aura belonging to an especially heroic era, adventure, or activity4 :

Something that lacks basis in fact? LOL. Maybe it’s an ideal, I don’t know, but I’m starting to think romance is love. It doesn’t have to be about trekking through 30 miles of a blizzard storm to save the woman you love. It doesn’t have to be about serving chocolate in the nude or getting up on my birthday and making me blueberry pancakes (though that’d be nice). It's not all about wine and candles. We need more love in this world and thus, we need more romance.

Cambridge defines it as:
romance (LOVE) noun 1 [C] a close, usually short relationship of love between two people: 2 [U] when you feel love and sexual attraction for someone: 3 [U] the feeling of excitement or mystery that you have from a particular experience or event: 4 [C] a story about love: 5 [C] a story of exciting events, especially one written or set in the past: romance verb 1 [I] to tell stories that are not true, or to describe an event in a way that makes it sound better than it was2 [T] OLD-FASHIONED to try to persuade someone to love youromantic adjective 1 relating to love or a close loving relationship:2 exciting and mysterious and having a strong effect on your emotions: 3 SLIGHTLY DISAPPROVING not practical and having a lot of ideas which are not related to real life:

LOL. A close, usually short relationship? Sad, but true. Most relationships these days don’t last. And why is that, do you think? Do we have high expectations, or is it just because we can’t be with just one person for the rest of our lives? The excitement dwindles, but it doesn’t have to completely.

I’ve been married 12 years, so most romantic notions don’t exist for me anymore. At least, not the ones you can define. To me, romance is my husband coming home, sharing dinner with me and watching a movie. Or supporting me in my writing career even when he has no idea the things I write. He won’t read it, he hates to read in fact. He won’t dance with me, even in the privacy of our own living room. But he’s romantic in his own way.

I once picked up a book called The RoMANtic’s Guide for my husband. I thought he might need to learn how to be romantic. He doesn’t read it. Oh well. He’s romantic enough for me. I still have romantic notions in my head. I picture me and my husband being together forever. :)


Karen Erickson said...

Aw, your husband sounds like mine, lol. He won't even read what I write, is not a reader at all, but that's ok. He's so supportive of me and my writing - and everything I do and I appreciate him for it.

Those definitions of romance were hilarious - and kinda depressing! Oh well...

I hopped over to your blog from Jen's. :)

Jen said...

I think there is some romantic misconceptions that I got from HQ romances when I was young. I got rid of them fairly quickly.
I've kind of learned to find romance in all kinds of things my husband does. I wouldn't say he's romantic. He's a sweetie though.
I know I read romances for that satisfying feeling of two people finding each other. I guess it keeps me from missing the early days. You know, the "You don't bring me flowers anymore." syndrome. LOL.

Shelli Stevens said...

You don't look old enough to have been married for twelve years! LOL. I agree, romance is all in they eyes of the beholder. Because everyone is on different levels of romance. I generally don't think men to be romantic. If they turn out to be, I get a little weirded out! :)

aBookworm said...

You're exactly right! It's more caring than sizzle that matters in the long run, although sizzle is FINE too ;-)